as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
