no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
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I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
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I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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