We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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