Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
