i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
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