sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
