Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Randomize
