:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
