Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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