i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
