The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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