you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
