Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
