is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
