I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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