I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
