this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
