i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
