found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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