I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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