why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
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I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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