just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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