Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize