i wish peter jackson would direct porn
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize
