kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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