Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
