so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Randomize
