if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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