and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
