I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
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Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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