TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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