I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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