Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
