i would punch a child for taco bell
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize