Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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