somebody snuck up and got me drunk
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
