Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
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