How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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