i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
