Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
