but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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