Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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