Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
