you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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