do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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