im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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