Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
