should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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