If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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