Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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