The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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