dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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