'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just found puke in my bra..
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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