I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
