then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize